I did it. I only went and got Slimmer of the Week, dream achieved, goal accomplished.
This basically means that out of the people who weighed in today (and who stayed to group- which I do in order to take advantage of the free child care), I had lost the most weight.
Not only did I get rewarded with a round of applause, there was a sticker (yes, like my preschool child, I was rewarded with a sticker- it was shiny too) and a certificate of such a snazzy design it rivals The Girl’s “I got dressed myself today” certificate, to put on the fridge. However, beyond the celebration suitable for a 3 year old (but strangely acceptable) there is also “The Box”.
Each week you are asked to take something healthy to put in the box then the ‘slimmer of the week’ gets to take the contents of the box home. Now, I normally take a few bits of fruit, once when I had not been shopping and we were living out of cupboards I took a tin of tuna. You get the idea. It’s not a treat box- it’s a carry on getting skinny box. Or so I thought.
The contents of my winning box were somewhat questionable.
– Satsumas, and a few bits of fruit. I suspect these were from “The Consultant”.
– 6, yes 6 chocolate bars. Special skinny ones but still, not quite a piece of fruit.
– A Curly Wurly. Because that’s diet food right there.
– 2 packets of Super Noodles, now this diet is fairly forgiving but super noodles serve no purpose other than to replenish salt levels in a student with a mighty hangover.
– A tin of sardines. In fairness it’s in keeping with the diet, just not top of my desirables list.
– An egg. I assumed, wrongly, it would be hard boiled but no, a straight up raw egg. Just one. Not in its box, just loose amongst the calorie laden snacks.
I can’t help but think that now there are perhaps some undertones of hostility within the group. This box definitely didn’t say to me “well done and carry on getting skinny”.
This box said : “We hate you. We are bitter that you are getting skinny and we are trying to throw you off track by filling your house with anti slimming goods … and a raw egg”.
I think it’s the raw egg that got to me the most. But not to be defeated by the bullies, I nestled this lone egg in the bottom of The Boy’s foot muff on the pram, got it home in one piece, and had myself a well deserved egg bap.
You will never guess what I’m contributing to the box next week…