The Girl: Daddy, I can see something dangling…
Me: Yes, that’s Daddy’s willy
The Girl: No. Not that. Look behind.
She tries to move closer to get a better look while Phil and I look slightly alarmed as she is clearly speaking of his scrotum…
The Girl: That there, that funny bit.
Phil and I both respond simultaneously: “Balls!” “Testicles!”
This had not been discussed in advance. Unlike ‘willy’ and ‘tinkler’ (our chosen nouns for male and female bits) which had been discussed at length, friends questioned and tentative google searches performed.
Suggestions ranged from the slightly horrific ‘penny slot’ to the more common ‘sixpence’, the too frequently used in everyday language; ‘bits’, and suggested by one of our more well-spoken friends; “personals” (which whilst a perfectly reasonable suggestion, I found it disproportionately hilarious) to describe the female anatomy.
For us ‘willy’ was a simple no brainer and therefore further discussion regarding the surrounding area was not had. If it had been we would have had a simple and united front with which to respond to the ball sack question.
However, Phil being a urologist clearly thought “I have got this. This is my area” (not only anatomically speaking) “I can answer any question she’s got. Bring it on!”
And then took it upon himself to elaborate further, explaining that girls wear their balls on the inside…
At which point I put an end to the discussion and usher The Girl out. There is a time to be a urologist and a time to be a Daddy. That was not the time to combine the two and explain the embryological development of genitalia to a 3yr old.
We have already explained to preschool that Phil “deals with willies and wee” to hopefully contextualise any questionable remarks our rather astute 3 yr old may make. But “girls wearing balls on the inside” was one step too far.
Now to fit a lock on the bathroom door….